#filterfreeme

Hello Yogi, Yesterday there were a lot of wonderfully empowering posts celebrating International Women’s Day. Many shared encouraging words about a woman’s strength, resilience and just an overall appreciate for how fricking amazing we are. On the other hand, there were also ones that made me want to scream. Ones that filled me with so much anger and disgust that I had to focus on my go-to mindfulness strategies before smoke started coming out of my ears. Ones that said something like “Yay to being a woman, you deserve to take a bath.” Just Breathe Deep Breath In Cleansing Sigh Let that shit go, let it go, let it… no not that song again! Listen, I love baths. I love the warmth, the smells, the chance to slow down and listen to some tunes… absolutely enjoyable. But don’t for one second pretend like it’s enough to combat the exhaustion that comes along with being a woman. People need to stop suggesting “self care” as if it were a princess bandaid on the gapping wounds of our bleeding hearts, that get slashed open on a daily basis. It is insulting, disempowering, belittling. Yes, we do deserve a bath and all the self care in the world... and how about some fricking help and a little more support while you’re at it, and why don't you stop pitting us against one another too. How about instead of telling us to go take a bath, you embrace our messiness, our imperfections, our flaws. We see this everywhere, right? This or that person or promotion telling us what we need to change, what we need to improve, claiming they can help "fix" us. We do not need fixing! We need acceptance! As I continue to dive deeper into this wellness world again, I’m continuously confronted with the push to be perfect. The advice to share “my best self.” The statistics telling me that if I want to grow my business I must become more obsessed with my image by cleaning up, filtering up, make-uping up . While, simultaneously, dumbing myself down, shrinking my strength, hiding my light. Y'all have heard my stories about how I learned from that mistake, after doing so destroyed my body, literally. In attempts to be perfect I became repeatedly sick - illnesses, injuries, accidents showing up left and right. NO! (Yes, that’s a complete sentence.) Never again! Can it all, please, just STOP? Because maybe you’re like me, Nicole Starr, and feeling really exhausted by leading with your perfectly imperfectness or pretending like you care about all that bullshit when you don't, just to break through this vail of perfectionism in order to be able to succeed in most businesses. If you do, if that’s your choice and the life you want to live, then by all means, embrace it. I'm not here to shame or stop you. I'm simply begging that when you’re wearing you’re fancy clothes, you’re perfectly done up hair, your impeccable makeup - please look at me in my kid stained clothes, messy bun and blemish covered face with the same respect and admiration you do to the "Instagram worthy" women out there. Because… I love myself I accept myself I’m not afraid of my mess, my brokenness, my darkness or my humanness. Can we start a movement? One that believes that a woman in yoga pants, a kid on one hip, laptop on the counter, phone in her bra, something cooking in the background, beverage in hand, can still run the world… because we can, because we already are, because without us - this world would crumble. Yes, this is why we get so damn excited about pockets. We are asked to be everything to everyone, to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders while we carry our babies on our backs, doing a million little things at once. How about a movement that lets us be who we are at any given moment. That sees the beauty in the mess, that meets us where we are, not where we're "supposed" to be. How about a #filterfreeme Go ahead, tell me to take a bath, one more time. Because as wonderful as they are, being told it's what we deserve diminishes it's value - diminishes our value. Now, yes, I’m going to go enjoy this bath, (and appreciate the irony.) I’m gonna let yesterday run down the drain, I’m gonna put my big girl panties on and rule the world. Nicole Starr are you with me? Stay in Your Light, Nicole Starr